5 Reasons Churches Remain Small

I originally read this article on a blog found at www.smallchurchcoaching.com.  I was intrigued by the title and thoughts.  I rewrote the article based upon my experience in the Church of God and coaching smaller churches.  The ultimate vision that God has given me for ministry is to create healthy churches through two vantage points; leadership development and pastoral health.  I believe in the local church and as I've heard Bill Hybels say so many times, 'she's the hope of the world!".  Here is a rewrite of Five Reasons that churches remain small.

Unresolved Conflict. Churches and pastors that ignore conflict or run from conflict don’t grow.  Conflict in churches is as messy as marriage counseling. Small churches cannot afford to ignore conflict.  The loss of a family or a whole family system in a medium sized church is unpleasant. In a small church, though, that same loss may mean half or more of the worshipping participants walking out. And so, rather than dealing with conflict effectively, the leaders and the congregation as a whole will choose to ignore the conflict. Dealing with conflict as it happens still might damage the small church but ignoring will kill it for sure! It just takes longer.

Lack of Hospitality. First-time visitors decide whether or not they’ll return to your congregation within the first 10 minutes of their visit – and some experts suggest the decision is made within the first three minutes. Either way, you will never get another chance to make a first-impression, so make sure your guests are well received. Remember that Hospitality begins in the parking lot, not once a guest finds their way into your worship center. They generally come with pretty low expectations and an even lower opinion of churches and their members, so when they show up on your doorstep you’re already starting from a deficit. Thus, if there’s no safe, sanitary, and secure nursery for their little ones they are unlikely to be back. If they have to try and keep their older children and youth “entertained” during your worship service, they won’t be back … mostly because they were totally unable to worship or even hear the message, since they were continually distracted by their kids. And if you break any of the Platinum Rules of Guest Relations – Don’t Embarrass Me, Don’t Ignore Me, Don’t Overwhelm Me, and Don’t Confuse Me – they won’t be back. For the record, everything you do … from your choice of hymns to the content of your sermon … is related to hospitality. This is the number one reason first-time guests don’t return. I have never coached a church yet that has not said proudly, “we are a friendly church.” Really they are just friendly to each other – not to guest.

Inward Focused. Although it’s true of non-growing churches of every size, it’s especially hard to miss when a small church is more concerned with answering the question “What about us?” rather than “How can we be the tangible touch of Jesus for our neighbors?” When maintaining status quo outweighs faithful effectiveness, church growth is impossible. Don’t believe for one moment that this is strictly a “style of worship”. Inward focus generally pervades every decision a non-growing small church makes from where the pastor spends her/his time to what events get on the calendar. I hear in almost any consultation, “we take care of each other.” Precisely, that’s why you are the only one’s here.  I mentioned in one church that I personally don’t like “turn and greet your neighbor” time.  I don’t like it because I am always a guest and I don’t know anyone.  So while everybody is hugging and catching up, I’m standing there… introducing myself or looking around.  When I tell church leaders that, often the response is ‘well we like it!’ But what if it makes a guest uncomfortable?  Churches have to be intentional about being outward focus.  It will not happen if you are not intentional!

Leaders (and sometimes pastors) Don’t Really Want Growth.   I write from personal experience.  My wife and I worked like crazy to get the church in Shorewood turned around.  We had 35 people that loved us and became grandparents to our kids… but when the church started growing, some of the kind people became pretty ornery. I heard things like, “they’re not Church of God” or “they haven’t invested in this church like we have.”  At first, everybody’s smiling during greeting time because that’s the ‘favorite’ part!  But when the new people outnumber the old people (written with sarcasm) all sorts of things start happening. I had never heard the phrase “the bylaws say” so much. What I’m saying is not true in every church and it does not match every experience but the same people that said, “pastor make this church grow” were not really on board with the growth. They abandoned ship for the most part using the parting words, "we're going somewhere that cares about people!" I have worked with churches that a church leader intentionally sabotaged an idea or started a fight just to get control back. Unless the church leadership is really on board, sustained growth isn’t going to happen.

The Church has Become the Walking Dead. If history has shown us anything, it’s that nothing we build lasts forever. The reality is, churches have a life cycle. Churches are birthed, they live, and they die. As wonderful as St. Paul was, not a single church he started exists today. Sure, some churches are born, get old, but find a way to be re birthed. But in the end, even these churches will one day be history. In reality, there are many, many small churches that have died … they’ve reached the end of their productive life cycle and at best, they are on life support. But the few, the proud, the tenacious will continue to show up because it’s what they’ve always done and to do any differently is unthinkable. These churches need one of two things. In some cases, the remaining membership can be helped to see the congregation needs to be disbanded before they deplete whatever resources are left … and to leave those resources to support a new church start. This is the most faithful legacy a church can leave.  Convincing a church of that is tough! On the other hand, some congregations are so steeped in denial and grief that the legacy option seems more like suicide than faithfulness. These churches need a pastor who can serve as their hospice chaplain – someone who’s greatest gift is simply to be there and prepare the dying for death while making $75.00 a week.

Please feel free to respond to this article.  I recommend the blog at www.smallchurchcoaching.com.  I long to coach and partner with churches and pastors that desire to change the small church culture that has dominated the Church of God in Illinois for too long.