5 Churchy Phrases That Are Scaring Off Millennials

The statistics are in: millennials are leaving the church. And nobody seems quite sure what to do about it.  By Addie Zierman

I am one of them. Born in 1983, I belong to the wispy beginnings of the new generation. I turned 30 this year, and I’m raising two small boys. I hold within me both cynicism and hope. I left the church. I came back.

Here is what I can tell you about millennials: We grew up on easy answers, catchphrases and cliché, and if we’ve learned anything, it’s that things are almost always more complicated than that.

When I returned to church, it wasn’t because of great programs, alluring events or a really cool “café” set up in the foyer. I went back not because of what the church was doing, but rather in spite of it. I went back because I needed community, and because, thanks to a steady dose of medication and therapy, I was finally well enough to root through the cliché to find it.
But not all of us are there yet. For some of us, the clichés are still maddening and alienating. Recently, I asked my followers online for the five church clichés that they tend to hate the most. 

These were the top five responses:
“The Bible clearly says…”
We are the first generation to grow up in the age of information technology, and we have at our fingertips hundreds of commentaries, sermons, ideas, and books. We can engage with Biblical scholars on Facebook and Twitter, and it’s impossible not to see the way that their doctrines – rooted in the same Bible – differ and clash.
We’re acutely aware of the Bible’s intricacies. We know the Bible is clear about some things– but also that much is not clear. We know the words are weighted to a culture that we don’t completely understand and that the scholars will never all agree.
We want to hear our pastors approach these words with humility and reverence. Saying, “This is where study and prayer have led me, but I could be wrong,” does infinitely more to secure our trust than The Bible clearly says…
“God will never give you more than you can handle”
This paraphrased Mother Teresa quote has become so commonplace in Christian culture that I was shocked to learn that it wasn’t in the Bible.
Inherent in this phrase is the undertone that if life has become “more than you can handle,” then your faith must not be strong enough. We millennials may be a bit narcissistic, but we also know the weight of too much. We understand that we need help. Connections. Friendship. Sometimes therapy.
We know that life so often feels like entirely too much to handle. And we want to know that this is okay with you and with God.
“Love on” (e.g. “As youth group leaders, we’re just here to love on those kids.”
In addition to sounding just plain creepy, this phrase also has troubling implications. We may understand that we need help, but we certainly don’t want to be anyone’s project or ministry.
It may just be semantics, but being loved on feels very different than being simply loved. The former connotes a sudden flash of contrived kindness; the latter is simpler…but deeper. It suggests that the relationship is the point, not the act of love itself.
And really, that’s what we’re looking for: relationship –that honest back and forth of giving and receiving love.
Black and white quantifiers of faith, such as “Believer, Unbeliever, Backsliding”
Millennials are sick of rhetoric that centers around who’s in and who’s out. We know our own doubtful hearts enough to know that belief and unbelief so often coexist. Those of us who follow the Christian faith know that world around us feels truer than the invisible God who holds it together.
Terms like backsliding that try to pinpoint the success (or, more accurately, lack thereof) of our faith, frustrate us. We don’t want to hustle to prove our faith; we don’t want to pretend. We want to be accepted, not analyzed.
“God is in control . . . has a plan . . . works in mysterious ways”
Chances are we believe this is true. But it’s the last thing we want to hear when something goes horribly wrong in our life. We are drawn to the Jesus who sits down with the down-and-out woman at the well. Who touches the leper, the sick, the hurting. Who cries when Lazarus is found dead…even though he is in control and has a plan to bring Lazarus back to life.
You’ve heard us say that we like Jesus but not the church, and it’s not because we’re trying to be difficult. It’s because the Jesus we read about enters into the pain of humanity where so often the church people seem to want to float above it.
In the end, it’s not really about what churches say or don’t say. What millennials want is to be seen. Understood. Loved. It’s what everyone wants, really. And for this generation of journeyers? Choosing honesty over cliché is a really great place to start.

Need some good news!

Could you use some good news?

Aurora First Church of God has seen 20 new converts come to Christ in 3 months!  Pastor Manny Rivera is emailing me weekly giving me exciting updates.  Some of you might remember that Aurora is a "turn around" church.  Manny and Marci came from Iglesia de Dios Northwest in August.  They have started a Friday Night Prayer Meeting which is now averaging more than their Sunday Morning service two months ago.  Sunday Mornings have grown as well.

Lifebrook Church in Bethalto moved into their new facility last month.  I was able to be part of the Open House celebration and the joy was contagious.  Since that time, they have had 3 Sunday services and new people are showing up each week.  Pastor Jonathan Absher and the elders did an amazing job of the design and remodeling of the facility.  It really is one of the finest facilities in the states!

Today is the first day for Zach Schaeffer to be in the office as Camp Warrren's Executive Director.  Zach and his family are excited about starting on this new journey.  In October, the General Assembly voted to purchase a home at 6918 Camp Warren Rd. for the Executive Director to live in.  They moved in last week.  Pray for Zach and Megan as they continue to adjust to this transition and as they begin a new ministry.  Zach is available to preach at your church or simply to come share about the exciting changes that are to come at Camp Warren.

Vince Miller, pastor in Champaign recently shared with me that the best things about the church in Champaign right now are taking place outside the church walls in the community.  I think that is exciting!

Ivy Heights Church of God in Wood River, IL is getting ready to welcome their new pastor, Joel Frymire.  We are excited to welcome Joel back to Illinois.  Pray for his family as they begin their new ministry in Wood River.  The church is excited to begin a new chapter with the Frymires.

The focus of our State Youth Convention is Discipleship - making Jesus the subject!  That's just sweet.

Marion First Church of God held their first Saturday Evening Worship with 136 in attendance, many were first time guest.  Great job Pastor Roy!  Keep up the good work.

Pastor Fred Wright was honored yesterday on the 2nd year anniversary of the merger of Fire Works Station and the Gathering Place.  2 years ago, I didn't know if Gathering Place would make it but the merger has proved not only successful but Pastor Fred is leading the merger so well - you really only see one exciting church body. 

Market Ave Church of God in East St Louis celebrated 100 years of ministry in their community.  It was an amazing time of worship and praise as they rejoiced, celebrating God's faithfulness.  Keep pressing on Pastor Prude and Market Ave.

Celebrate!

Iglesia de Dios - 9th Anniversary

Last Sunday I attended the 9th anniversary of Iglesia de Dios Northwest.  This congregation and pastor never ceases to thrill me at what they are accomplishing in ministry.  50 years ago, Belmont Church of God (Greek Speaking) and Belding Ave. Church of God (English speaking) merged and became North West Church of God.  North West Church of God had a strong presence in the north west side of Chicago for many years.  At one time, this congregation had a Polish, Greek and English Service.  The neighborhood changed in the area and over a course of many years, the congregation declined to less than 20 people.

The 20 people that remained were deeply rooted in the Church of God.  Many of them drove quite a distance into the city to attend church on Belmont Ave.  9 Years ago, North West Church of God opened their doors to start another Church of God congregation.  It would be the 1st Spanish speaking congregation in the Church of God in Illinois.  Through the faithful support of Illinois Ministries and a few other congregations, Iglesia de Dios was planted.  Pastor Carlos Sanchez started the congregation with his wife, Anna and three teen aged children; Melina, Isaac and Carlos. 

One year ago, the 20 people of North West Church of God merged with Iglesia de Dios to become, Iglesia de Dios North West.  The story of this merge is beautiful.  The two congregations consistently average over 250 people.  They offer 2 worship services; Friday Evening and Sunday Morning.  Pastor Carlos and his volunteer staff have started Home Cell Groups, a Vibrant Children's Ministry, a Dynamic Worship Service, Leadership Development and a strong focus on Evangelism.  Hundreds of people have come to know Christ and have been baptized.

Sunday was indeed special - celebrating 50 years, 9 years, and 1 year.  The highlight for me though was when Pastor Carlos announced that Manny and Marci Rivera had been called to First Church of God in Aurora to be their Interim Pastor and hopefully by the end of the year will be installed as the new Lead Pastor of First Church of God in Aurora.  It was special because I remember the day Pastor Carlos called me and told me about this ex-gang thug that gave his heart to Jesus.  Pastor Carlos and Anna have discipled Manny and Marcy.  Manny has developed into a student of the Word and a strong leader and preacher.  His wife Marcy, a minister in her own right has been uniquely gifted in evangelism, teaching, and hospitality. Manny begins his journey with the Credential's Team in a few weeks.

My take away from all this is very humbling.  If the 2 declining congregations 50 years ago had not merged would any of this happened?  If these 2 congregations that spoke different languages had not humbled themselves and 'died', would any of this happened?  If these 2 congregations would have said the past is more important than the future, would we have been celebrating anything?   It reminds me of Jesus' teaching in John 12:24, "Most assuredly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it produces much grain."

It is true that somethings must die for new life to take place?  Some ministries must die in order for new life to take place.  Some programs should die so that new programs can be birthed.  Some relationships must die in order to make way for new relationships. 

 

General Assembly & Minister's Meeting

The General Assembly of the Church of God in IL is Saturday November 1, 2104. We will be meeting at Cross Pointe Church of God in Bloomington, IL.

The address is: 3101 Airport Road, Bloomington, IL

I believe that the General Assembly will be reviving and refreshing. I am hoping that the General Assembly and the Ministerial Meeting will begin to become a highlighted event in Illinois Ministries. Here is what the agenda looks like thus far:

10am Opening Worship with Reverend Jerald January

11am Call to Order – Ministerial Assembly only

Break – non Ministerial Assembly members

11:15am Break

11:30am General Assembly Meeting

Illinois Ministries

• 2014 Reports
• 2015 Budget
• Ratification of Elders and Credentials
• Proposals (church & pastoral health)

Camp Warren

• 2014 Report
• 2015 Budget
• Camp Warren Board of Directors Appointment
• Proposals (too many to mention)

12:30pm Catered Lunch

1:30 pm General Assembly Conclusion

2:00pm Closing Worship with Reverend Jerald January



We are a delegated Assembly, below are prescriptions for who may represent your congregation. It is vital for all of our churches to be fully represented.

Membership Includes:
The pastor of each congregation with the State of Illinois as approved by the Credential’s Team.
The approved Associate Pastors and Ministers employed by the local congregation.
All other Ministers who are registered in the current Year Book of the Church of God and who reside in Illinois.
One layperson chosen by each congregation in the State of Illinois
Members of Illinois Ministries Leadership Teams.

You will be inspired and pleased with the vision and direction that is being fine tuned in Illinois Ministries and Camp Warren. Jerald January will be motivating as he leads our times of learning and worship.

We have added a $15.00 charge for registration for the day’s events to cover expenses and lunch. Although this is new for Illinois, it is a common action of others states, usually at a minimum of $50.00.

It is vitally important that you register that you are coming to the General Assembly Meeting so we can prepare for lunch. You can register at: www.ilcog.org under event registration.

Don’t delay – do it today!

Thankful For My Drug Problem

We were never given an option when it came to sleeping in or participating in activities on a Sunday morning.  As a matter of fact, my parents had a routine that started Saturday evenings.  It started after dinner; lay your clothes out for church, shine your shoes, take a bath, and possibly a quick review of scripture memorization.  It was to bed early on Saturday nights. I never minded going to church.

I remember a battle with my older brother that my parents would often have.  He was drug to church – there were a few times in high school that I remember my dad coming into my room and saying something like, “get up – you want to stay out all night on a Saturday, the least you can do is get your lazy body out of bed… “and on and on.  Like a lot of teenagers, I had those days that I too would be drug to church.

But I’m thankful that I was drugged to church.  Here’s why.

1)   I realize all churches have issues.  I saw my church go through lots of issues like building programs, capital fund campaigns, relocation, and people problems.  Today, I am able to love people and serve the church with great compassion and understanding. I understand the lifecycle of a church.

2)   I learned that most pastors are genuine servants that have responded to a special call upon their life to lead others.  I adored my pastors.  They were heroes to me.  They were kind and fair.  They were always prepared and nothing seemed to rock their world. Their self-control was amazing. C.W Baldwin, Tom Malbone, Jim Fox and for a short time Tom Smith; amazing men that loved God, served the church selflessly, and treated me without exception like I was special.  I am convinced that these men of God are the number one reason I was able to hear the call of God on my life so clearly.

3)   The church set my compass.  The consistency of the message of salvation, grace and holiness resonated in my life just as loudly as all the other messages of the world like success, win, and happiness.  I suppose I have a combination of all those voices contributing to my values today.  I can’t imagine what life would be like had the church not had such a defining voice in my life.

4)   I grew up in a church where excellence in worship was celebrated and honored.  It was not a large church but I learned to appreciate excellence in worship.  Not style. Not preferences. Excellence.  It taught me that God deserves our best in worship.

5)   I was surrounded by good people.  Not perfect people.  Good people that genuinely loved God and occasionally would slip up.  People that were passionate about budgets, bylaws, serving, and missions.  They were people that loved to pray, use the altar, and celebrated with food a lot.  They laughed, cried, clapped, sang, prayed, mourned, and learned with one another. 

I will be 50 years old this year and when Saturday evening arrives, I still find myself thinking about clothes, shining my shoes, and dragging myself to church on Sunday Morning only now, “I am so glad when they to me, let us go to the house of the Lord.”

Do you know anyone operating at this level of leadership?

“Bruna Martinuzzi, author of Become the Kind of Person Others Want to Follow, compiled a list of ten ways to achieve this level of leadership.

1. Always act with honesty.
2. Treat people who have wronged you with civility.
3. Fulfill your unkept promises from the past.
4. Help someone who can be of absolutely no use to you.
5. Suspend blame when something goes wrong and ask, “What can we learn?”
6. Hire people who are as smart as or smarter than you and give them opportunities for growth.
7. Don’t interrupt people; don’t dismiss their concerns offhand; don’t rush to give advice; don’t change the subject. Allow people their moment.
8. Do no harm in anything you undertake.
9. Don’t be too quick to shoot down others’ ideas.
10. Share your knowledge, expertise, and best practices with others.”

Excerpt From: Kawasaki, Guy. “Enchantment.”

A Confession of Arrogance

It’s January 5, 2014.  I haven’t written anything on this page for a long time.  This isn’t the beginning of a New Year’s Resolution.  I am not going to fill this article with excuses of why I haven’t written.  I want to make a confession, a confession that I have needed to make for sometime.  I started a series of articles called, “10 Stupid Things Churches Do”.  I thought it would be fun.  I even asked readers to shoot me a few ideas.  Many did.  Actually, nine did.  However, I don’t know how many actual readers there are so it might be that “all of my readers responded.”

After writing about the first stupid thing – I hated the idea.  I thought the idea was arrogant and rude.  It was probably passive aggressive.  You know, I had a bad meeting with a church and on my way home, after being so nice and gentle, I thought to myself, “I will write an article and let every church know that I am smart and they are stupid.”  I told you it’s a confession.

I confess my arrogance.  I don’t know too many churches that do stupid things on purpose.  I confess my arrogance.  I do not know what is right and what is wrong in every situation.  I know that there are many things that work well and lots of things that don’t. I know this because I tried a lot of stupid things.  What I know was taught to me by people who gave me a chance to lead them.  They trusted me with a sacred trust.  I have read more books on church leadership and church health than most people but I have retained very little. 

I don’t want to be an arrogant leader.  I don’t want to be a leader that knows exactly what to do in every situation.  I don’t want people to look at me when I walk into a room and think to themselves, “all is well, Eric is here.”

I want to be a leader that gets up every morning and with a good cup of coffee spends time in the Word of God, a leader that listens to God more than talks to God, a leader that points people to Jesus more than to a best selling book or the latest research. 

I want to be a leader, no, a servant, that talks about integrity, holiness, humility, trusting, loving, forgiveness, acceptance, unity, and Jesus. 

So – that’s why I haven’t posted anything lately.  I have been embarrassed by my Stupid Articles.  I have tried to think of a way to start again.  So today, on this snow day in 2014, after all my assignments at churches were cancelled, after praying and worshiping throughout the day, after watching four hours of Law & Order, after ordering a movie, after working on my final project in my MBA, I finally decided to say it.

I am sorry for my last articles on “Stupid Things Churches Do.”  I will not delete them.  I need them to serve as a reminder of what I don’t want to be like.