Hey friends, I appreciate all the comments that I have received from you. I am glad the last several blogs have helped, encouraged, or poked you enough to respond. This blog is about Choosing Holiness Over Talent. I constantly lived with this tension as a pastor - do you?
"Can we have a cup of coffee?" Tom knew I had witnessed the temper tantrum earlier that morning while the worship team was practicing. He reluctantly agreed. He looked like he was going to get in big trouble from the boss. I put my arm around him, and with grace, assured him I just wanted to find out what was going on in his life. It was out of his nature to take himself so serious and snap at others.
Later that afternoon we met at Starbucks. For a couple of hours he shared some of the stuff going on in his life. He was living a different lifestyle than was being projected on a Sunday Morning. What we saw on Sunday was an amazing leader, musician, sensitive guy. On the other side of Sunday, his life was a mess with some bad stuff.
As he was talking about addictions and other issues, I was thinking to myself, what is going to happen to worship without Tom? I am embarrassed to admit that, but it's true. I got control of my selfishness and listened to Tom. I hope I responded in a way that Jesus would have -- Tom was eventually restored and it never became a talkative issue in the church - not even a prayer request.
That evening, I went back to my problem. We were missing talent. I remember thinking the tension in my thoughts: Talent vs. Holiness. Obviously, I want both. But I choose holiness. It's more important to me that the person that is leading the congregation in worship or any volunteer role is not pretending. You cannot lead someone where you can't go.
How do you get this message out to volunteers and staff? The first thing, get it out there before the issue happens. Don't wait to develop a policy on this issue until you are sitting at Starbucks and someone is confessing an addiction to pornography to you. Don't wait until a small group leader tells you he is having an affair. Set the boundaries early. Set the boundaries that communicate love and restoration. I am shocked at some of the procedures outlined in policies and bylaws. "If you do this... then you are kicked out!" Really? That's grace and reconciliation? Come on!
The second thing I would say is live authentically. Don't pretend you never struggle with missing the mark. It was not uncommon for me to apologize to a staff member for something that I said or failed to do. My daughers will tell you that I apologized to them all the time for messing up as a dad. My wife, if she had a dollar for every time I had to own my junk in our relationship, she would be listed as one of the wealthiest women in Chicago... right up there with Oprah. I wanted my congregation to know I was real. I was horrified by the thought that my daughters or my staff would ever listen to me preach or do anything upfront and think to themselves, "what a fake!" There were tons of times they saw me and said, "he is frail, imperfect, messed up but he desires to be right with God and man."
The more one hides behind talent and slowly starts to replace holiness with sin and selfishness, is a very dangerous road. So, create a safe place for people to be real. I know there are many that will disagree strongly with me on this but I will say it here and maybe they won't see it - our holiness message often shuts people down from being real. If the scripture says, confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed... and we refuse to admit sinful behavior then no wonder we seldom see emotional, spiritual and physical healing in the church.
Bottom line is this: It's always holiness over talent. But holiness doesn't mean people won't struggle in life, confess sin, or mess up. Make sure your definition of holiness is all about Jesus and not your behavior or how perfect you are.
That is all.
Thursday, September 26, 2013
Friday, September 20, 2013
Number 4 & 5 Stupid Thing
The 4th stupid thing we to do to keep our churches from growing is to treat children's ministry like babysitting. The strongest healthiest churches today are investing in their children. They are equipping and training the very brightest and best in the congregation. They do not see technology, training events, or flat screen TV's as excessive spending for 'just the kids'. These things among others are seen as investments into children finding Christ and being discipled.
Why should the sanctuary have thousands of dollars worth of sound and tech equipment and children have chalk boards and dirty toys? Why do they even have toys? Why are we putting thousands of dollars in parking lots, church vans, choir music, and sending newsletters in the mail when the carpet is dirty, the children's space smells, and teachers are not even preparing until Sunday Morning? Yet, we all know Jesus prioritized children.
I am not against having sound systems, paved parking lots, and quality coffee but not at the expense of ignoring Student Ministry.
Invest in your student ministry - make it a priority to do more with less and make sure that children and teens, know they are valued and loved. Remember a written value statement of children or family ministry is only worth something if you are investing in that something. I can say I value missions and reaching the lost but if I am not serving and winning lost people, it's only words.
New Covenant Church of God in Peoria hired a Children's Pastor when they couldnt' afford it, made their children's room tech savy, makes sure that every student that wants to attend youth convention or youth camps are provided a way by scholarship. They don't do it because they have lots of money, they do it because it is a value.
And Number 5
while we are on the subject...
Don't update, it's good enough.
This is a confession of mine. Some of you know that while I was at Shorewood, we were constantly planning for relocation. Over several years, we accumulated a significant nest egg for future plans. However, when the economy turned and it was obvious we were not going to be building for a long time... we should have updated and remodeled the building. The carpet needed replaced, the outside was looking old, the youth were meeting in a moldy basement. Sound equipment was outdated. I could go on.
I often look back and think, had we reallocated resources, maybe we would have embraced our stated value of student ministry with more integrity. How can I say I value student ministry or excellence when stains in the carpet stared at every person as they walked in the door and our class rooms had VCR's and Cassette Players? I cast no stone, except at me on this issue. We were pleasantly full in two services. We were talking about adding a third service. All was well and people were coming to Christ regularly.
So you might ask, wasn't it the right decision? Five years later, I am walking into buildings, including Shorewood that are being remodeled and updated. No, it was not the right decision. These creative leaders and pastors are making their buildings look awesome. The children's ministry rooms are looking so cool, I want to work in children's ministry! Flat screens have replaced bulletin boards and metal folding chairs are replacing comfortable seating that makes me want to stay and visit.
If you are in the Shorewood area - stop and see the stuff they are doing.
If you are in Decatur - stop and see what a remodeled sanctuary looks like.
If you are in Champaign - stop and see what fresh paint and cleaning out clutter can do.
If you are in Marion - stop and see a children's ministry cooler than a set on Nickleodean.
If you are in Herrin, stop and see a crazy cool lighting system.
If you are in Freeport, stop and see how chairs and carpet can change the way a building looks.
And Chicago... wait a few more months and see the new Vernon Park Church of God.
People who we are trying win to Christ, deserve better than, "it's good enough."
Children and Youth need a place to invite friends to a place they are not embarrassed about.
We need to be able to welcome guest into our places of worship and not apologize for paneling, bad lighting, shag carpet, or pictures that are 20 years old still hanging in the same place.
Do your best for a Father that has done His best!
How serious are we when we say, we are going to change the world but not the carpet? I just think it communicates what we value.
Why should the sanctuary have thousands of dollars worth of sound and tech equipment and children have chalk boards and dirty toys? Why do they even have toys? Why are we putting thousands of dollars in parking lots, church vans, choir music, and sending newsletters in the mail when the carpet is dirty, the children's space smells, and teachers are not even preparing until Sunday Morning? Yet, we all know Jesus prioritized children.
I am not against having sound systems, paved parking lots, and quality coffee but not at the expense of ignoring Student Ministry.
Invest in your student ministry - make it a priority to do more with less and make sure that children and teens, know they are valued and loved. Remember a written value statement of children or family ministry is only worth something if you are investing in that something. I can say I value missions and reaching the lost but if I am not serving and winning lost people, it's only words.
New Covenant Church of God in Peoria hired a Children's Pastor when they couldnt' afford it, made their children's room tech savy, makes sure that every student that wants to attend youth convention or youth camps are provided a way by scholarship. They don't do it because they have lots of money, they do it because it is a value.
And Number 5
while we are on the subject...
Don't update, it's good enough.
This is a confession of mine. Some of you know that while I was at Shorewood, we were constantly planning for relocation. Over several years, we accumulated a significant nest egg for future plans. However, when the economy turned and it was obvious we were not going to be building for a long time... we should have updated and remodeled the building. The carpet needed replaced, the outside was looking old, the youth were meeting in a moldy basement. Sound equipment was outdated. I could go on.
I often look back and think, had we reallocated resources, maybe we would have embraced our stated value of student ministry with more integrity. How can I say I value student ministry or excellence when stains in the carpet stared at every person as they walked in the door and our class rooms had VCR's and Cassette Players? I cast no stone, except at me on this issue. We were pleasantly full in two services. We were talking about adding a third service. All was well and people were coming to Christ regularly.
So you might ask, wasn't it the right decision? Five years later, I am walking into buildings, including Shorewood that are being remodeled and updated. No, it was not the right decision. These creative leaders and pastors are making their buildings look awesome. The children's ministry rooms are looking so cool, I want to work in children's ministry! Flat screens have replaced bulletin boards and metal folding chairs are replacing comfortable seating that makes me want to stay and visit.
If you are in the Shorewood area - stop and see the stuff they are doing.
If you are in Decatur - stop and see what a remodeled sanctuary looks like.
If you are in Champaign - stop and see what fresh paint and cleaning out clutter can do.
If you are in Marion - stop and see a children's ministry cooler than a set on Nickleodean.
If you are in Herrin, stop and see a crazy cool lighting system.
If you are in Freeport, stop and see how chairs and carpet can change the way a building looks.
And Chicago... wait a few more months and see the new Vernon Park Church of God.
People who we are trying win to Christ, deserve better than, "it's good enough."
Children and Youth need a place to invite friends to a place they are not embarrassed about.
We need to be able to welcome guest into our places of worship and not apologize for paneling, bad lighting, shag carpet, or pictures that are 20 years old still hanging in the same place.
Do your best for a Father that has done His best!
How serious are we when we say, we are going to change the world but not the carpet? I just think it communicates what we value.
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