Why do people go to your church?

i recently started revisiting "Church Unique" by Will Mancini.  That books has helped me teach mission and vision more than any other book I've read.  I love his style.  

http://www.amazon.com/Church-Unique-Missional-Jossey-Bass-Leadership/dp/0787996831

After another Church Coaching Weekend and with several under my belt now, I can honestly say these statements that are listed below are really true.  The real reason people call your church home ---- Get your kleenex out, it's a little sad.   

1. Place – We make our buildings and then our buildings make us. People get addicted to space unless the space serves a bigger vision.

2. Personality – 15-35% of your people are most deeply connected to your church because of a pastor or staff member.

3. Programs – Just try to shut one down. It's hard to change when our people get their identity from how we do things instead of why we do things. 

4. People – Many call your church home because they know a handful of people who sit near them or attend a class together. It's easy to rely entirely on the comfort food of community without cause. 

Question: What is your unique calling as a church, that transcends place, personality, programs and people?

I remember Dr. Massey saying it like this?  What is your niche?

Is God Punishing Me?

“I hope God isn’t punishing me but it sure feels like it.”  I heard these words from a good friend last night.  It broke my heart and I wanted to do something. It didn’t shock me that it was happening because suffering is a part of life.  But, I wanted to change the situation, solve the problem or even get involved to try and help ease the suffering. Suffering is a part of life. If you want God to use you greatly, then you must allow God to wound you deeply.  Its the story of the Bible.

We need to learn to suffer well. You are, you have, you will...suffer. Sometimes suffering happens because you do the right thing. I think of Joseph and Potiphar’s wife…  Suffering is not punishment from the Father that is angry with you or despises you.  God adores you! 

Paul said in Eph. 3.1 – I Paul, a prisoner of Christ Jesus… but Paul wasn’t in prison by Jesus.  Paul saw that because he was in prison by Nero he was identifying with Christ therefore, a prisoner.  He saw his time of suffering all for the sake of the cause; Gentiles have access to the Father and Paul was willing to suffer for that cause. In all likely hood Paul suffered so that you and I could know the Good News of Christ's salvation!

Paul’s suffering had benefits and so can yours.  John Calvin said that everything that happens to us passes through the hands of God.  Once again the Apostle Pual, “above all this, there something glorious and good to be had through this suffering.” I wonder as Paul suffered if he thought of Isaiah, the suffering servant?

So why is the first question that comes to most of our minds when faced with suffering, “is God punishing me?”  Please know this, I am not casting stones.  I am the finest whiner when it comes to problems that has ever walked this earth.  But why are we shocked?

Hebrews 2:10 says that Jesus was made perfect through his… suffering.  God became a sympathetic High Priest.  We will never be able to lead or help others if we haven’t suffered.  Suffering releases you to serve.  Suffering, if allowed, can birth in us a love for Jesus as we get to know our suffering High Priest. 

I wish I would think more deeply in my suffering instead of feel more deeply.  Until I think through it I cannot seem to move through it.  I think sanctification (becoming holy or more like Christ) is turbo charged in our life through suffering.

Jesus didn’t suffer so we don’t have to, He suffered so that when we suffer we might become like Him.

What do you think?

5 Reasons Churches Remain Small

I originally read this article on a blog found at www.smallchurchcoaching.com.  I was intrigued by the title and thoughts.  I rewrote the article based upon my experience in the Church of God and coaching smaller churches.  The ultimate vision that God has given me for ministry is to create healthy churches through two vantage points; leadership development and pastoral health.  I believe in the local church and as I've heard Bill Hybels say so many times, 'she's the hope of the world!".  Here is a rewrite of Five Reasons that churches remain small.

Unresolved Conflict. Churches and pastors that ignore conflict or run from conflict don’t grow.  Conflict in churches is as messy as marriage counseling. Small churches cannot afford to ignore conflict.  The loss of a family or a whole family system in a medium sized church is unpleasant. In a small church, though, that same loss may mean half or more of the worshipping participants walking out. And so, rather than dealing with conflict effectively, the leaders and the congregation as a whole will choose to ignore the conflict. Dealing with conflict as it happens still might damage the small church but ignoring will kill it for sure! It just takes longer.

Lack of Hospitality. First-time visitors decide whether or not they’ll return to your congregation within the first 10 minutes of their visit – and some experts suggest the decision is made within the first three minutes. Either way, you will never get another chance to make a first-impression, so make sure your guests are well received. Remember that Hospitality begins in the parking lot, not once a guest finds their way into your worship center. They generally come with pretty low expectations and an even lower opinion of churches and their members, so when they show up on your doorstep you’re already starting from a deficit. Thus, if there’s no safe, sanitary, and secure nursery for their little ones they are unlikely to be back. If they have to try and keep their older children and youth “entertained” during your worship service, they won’t be back … mostly because they were totally unable to worship or even hear the message, since they were continually distracted by their kids. And if you break any of the Platinum Rules of Guest Relations – Don’t Embarrass Me, Don’t Ignore Me, Don’t Overwhelm Me, and Don’t Confuse Me – they won’t be back. For the record, everything you do … from your choice of hymns to the content of your sermon … is related to hospitality. This is the number one reason first-time guests don’t return. I have never coached a church yet that has not said proudly, “we are a friendly church.” Really they are just friendly to each other – not to guest.

Inward Focused. Although it’s true of non-growing churches of every size, it’s especially hard to miss when a small church is more concerned with answering the question “What about us?” rather than “How can we be the tangible touch of Jesus for our neighbors?” When maintaining status quo outweighs faithful effectiveness, church growth is impossible. Don’t believe for one moment that this is strictly a “style of worship”. Inward focus generally pervades every decision a non-growing small church makes from where the pastor spends her/his time to what events get on the calendar. I hear in almost any consultation, “we take care of each other.” Precisely, that’s why you are the only one’s here.  I mentioned in one church that I personally don’t like “turn and greet your neighbor” time.  I don’t like it because I am always a guest and I don’t know anyone.  So while everybody is hugging and catching up, I’m standing there… introducing myself or looking around.  When I tell church leaders that, often the response is ‘well we like it!’ But what if it makes a guest uncomfortable?  Churches have to be intentional about being outward focus.  It will not happen if you are not intentional!

Leaders (and sometimes pastors) Don’t Really Want Growth.   I write from personal experience.  My wife and I worked like crazy to get the church in Shorewood turned around.  We had 35 people that loved us and became grandparents to our kids… but when the church started growing, some of the kind people became pretty ornery. I heard things like, “they’re not Church of God” or “they haven’t invested in this church like we have.”  At first, everybody’s smiling during greeting time because that’s the ‘favorite’ part!  But when the new people outnumber the old people (written with sarcasm) all sorts of things start happening. I had never heard the phrase “the bylaws say” so much. What I’m saying is not true in every church and it does not match every experience but the same people that said, “pastor make this church grow” were not really on board with the growth. They abandoned ship for the most part using the parting words, "we're going somewhere that cares about people!" I have worked with churches that a church leader intentionally sabotaged an idea or started a fight just to get control back. Unless the church leadership is really on board, sustained growth isn’t going to happen.

The Church has Become the Walking Dead. If history has shown us anything, it’s that nothing we build lasts forever. The reality is, churches have a life cycle. Churches are birthed, they live, and they die. As wonderful as St. Paul was, not a single church he started exists today. Sure, some churches are born, get old, but find a way to be re birthed. But in the end, even these churches will one day be history. In reality, there are many, many small churches that have died … they’ve reached the end of their productive life cycle and at best, they are on life support. But the few, the proud, the tenacious will continue to show up because it’s what they’ve always done and to do any differently is unthinkable. These churches need one of two things. In some cases, the remaining membership can be helped to see the congregation needs to be disbanded before they deplete whatever resources are left … and to leave those resources to support a new church start. This is the most faithful legacy a church can leave.  Convincing a church of that is tough! On the other hand, some congregations are so steeped in denial and grief that the legacy option seems more like suicide than faithfulness. These churches need a pastor who can serve as their hospice chaplain – someone who’s greatest gift is simply to be there and prepare the dying for death while making $75.00 a week.

Please feel free to respond to this article.  I recommend the blog at www.smallchurchcoaching.com.  I long to coach and partner with churches and pastors that desire to change the small church culture that has dominated the Church of God in Illinois for too long.

Disturb us, Lord!

Several months ago I posted the 1st stanza to the prayer of Sir Francis Drake.  A few days ago a friend sent me the rest of the prayer.  It's a powerful prayer written in 1577.

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too well pleased with ourselves, when our dreams have come true
because we have dreamed too little, when we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess we have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life, we have ceased to dream of eternity and in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly, to venture on wider seas where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.

We ask You to push back the horizons of our hopes; and to push into the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.

In The Meantime

I’ve thought a little bit more about ‘stuck times’ or ‘in the meantime’ seasons of life.  We all have them.  They can seem so long.  Recently I've had several ‘in the meantime’ experiences.  Having an office 2 hours away from my family… working through difficult financial times in State Ministries… building a million dollar building with $600,000 and no approval to borrow money… knowing that staff cuts were coming which I knew would lead to not working next to a dear friend in ministry.

Oh how we need the grace of God in those times.  I can think of no fancy term to describe it – only it scared me into fear and depression which led to embarrassment.  Although days are brighter and I am enjoying life and ministry, I have a confession.

In the meantime experiences caused me to wonder if I would ever get out of it.  Would I ever enjoy ministry again? The continual thought of "Eric, you are so out of your league." Only the spiritually elite could accomplish this task. 

I remembering learning about the Peter Principle in Business 101 – Elevating someone beyond their skills and then getting rid of them because they can’t perform the task.  I was now living the Peter Principle.  Nice!

Okay, enough whining.  Here’s the secret.  Don’t give up and stay where God puts you.  Stay strong through the clouds, waves, winds and rain.  Proverbs 13:12 – Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life!

‘Stuck Times’ can feel like years.  Delay does not mean denied.  Galatians 6:9, Don’t become weary in doing good, for at the proper time… or in due season… we will reap a harvest IF we don’t give up.”

When I was in college I remember a sermon that my pastor (Dave Shultz; still a favorite preacher) preached and it rings in my ears often – it was scripture but it was the way he said these words;

“In this world you will have trouble.  Cheer up! I have overcome the world.”

You have Jesus – Cheer up because He has overcome the world!

When Will We Know

I am tempted to start out writing about how busy I’ve been or how heavy the travel has been – how ‘bout all the camp meetings and preparation.  Everybody is busy.  The truth is, I got out of the habit of posting on the blog once a week.  My goal at the beginning of the summer was to increase the writing and decrease other things.  So, knowing that we are all busy and nobody enjoys excuses allow me to say, I’m back and I have lots of ideas planted in my BLOG file. 

Here’s what I am thinking today.  I am thinking about the Parable of the Sower in Mark 4.  He spreads the seed on many types of soil.  When does he know if it will matter?

I have invested in hundreds of lives.  I have preached to thousands of individuals.  I have prayed with countless people.  When do I know if it mattered? Sometimes you know right away, but most of the time... not so much.

I heard my friend Gerald Rudd preach last night.  He shared that he was presented the gospel three direct (in your face) times before he finally got it. 

Mark 4 reminds me of being on vacation with my family when the girls were young.  The question every dad loves, “are we there yet?”   I would respond with something like, “does it look like we are there yet?” Erica, my oldest that loved to have the last word would say, “I don't know we are in the back seat and can't see?”

Here’s the truth.  You may never know if your preaching is falling on fertile soil.  You may never know if your hours of exegesis, late night prayers and the power of the Holy Spirit will turn the soil into producing fully devoted followers of Christ. 

I guess the more important question is this, “are you okay not knowing? Are you at peace knowing that the calling is to be fishers of men.”

I think the reason I love ministry so much are relationships not results.  I love results but it's the relationships that keep me going.  It was never about a knew program or 6 principles to church health, it was the joy of doing life with the people of God. 

When I hear great stories of radical conversion or awesome stories about God moving in a church, notice that you hear the beginning (how bad it was) and you hear the present (how God is blessing).  You never hear about the waiting period.

In the meantime’s, are not recorded in scripture.  Those times where we know we are not where we were but we are not where we are suppose to be…

Jesus’ silent years – 12 to 30 years of age.  What happened?

Paul – saved on the Damascus road and the put in silence.  What happened?

I need Jesus in the meantime’s.  When the disciples were in the storm in Mark 6 the Bible says in verse 48, they were straining because the wind was against them.  They were in the middle of the lake, it appears that they had been at it all night.  That’s in the meantime! And Jesus appears in verse 50, “take courage! It is I.  Don’t be afraid.”

What a welcome voice for those of us in the meantime.  My prayer for every person that reads this is that you hear the welcome voice of Jesus today, “take courage, it is I.  Don’t be afraid.”