Starting Year 8

I just completed 7 years as a Regional Pastor.  Added to the 22 years as a Lead Pastor and 3 years as an associate; that is 32 years of full time ministry.  Throughout those 32 years I have repeatedly asked a question in times of reflection – “How can I add more value to my calling that both blesses God and others?”  I am a results oriented guy – I am always looking at ROI (return on investment). 
These last 7 years have been a whirlwind of learning experiences in which I am eternally grateful.  They have been the fastest 7 years of my life complete with some of the greatest joys and darkest nights.  I am filled with hope and confidence that my learning and growing continues.  That means, I am far from ‘being set in my ways’ in ministry.  My reflections on the future of ministry looks a lot like this:
I want to love people out of an overabundant love from God.  I want my relationship with God to be so satisfying and intimately connected that love spills out.  I suffer from needing to be loved.  I want a desire to love from my love connection with God.
I want to lead and love in a way that others need to be led and loved.  I have caught myself holding back on leading and loving in ways that would be best because I know people wouldn’t be pleased.  I suffer from pleasing people. I want to be a courageous leader.
I want to major on significant priorities based on my gifts, passions and skills.
I’ve recently started journaling and using a paper daily task organizer.  I still use my Apple Calendar but my daily tasks and hour by hour assignments are written down.  This has helped me stay focused on priority living as well as given me some extra free time to help others without feeling like I am not getting my things done. 
I hope to have an Administrative Assistant within a month that will handle with skill and excellence the things that should not be on my ‘significant’ tasks to complete. In all honestly, I am being challenged to figure out the most significant priorities.
I want to do a better job with conflicts, rebuking sinful behaviors and guiding churches through church discipline. Real love often demands confrontation, for the benefit of those confronted as well as for the protection of their victims. I need prayer for this.  I have watched people who are really good with this – and the thing I notice the most is they have self-confidence, humility, remain calm and speak with authority.  
I want to be able to help pastors and leaders say “no” to the good so they can say “yes” to the best.  It breaks me when I hear the stresses and anxiety caused by activities of churches.  Many of these things have little to no value. I would like to say more but see the above reflection and know I don't rebuke sinful behaviors very well.
Finally, I have not taken care of myself and it’s hurting the people I love the most.  Most church members don’t care if we take care of ourselves or not. If we want to work ourselves to death, our congregations will generally allow us to do so and replace us when we wear out. So I understand that a Regional Pastor can be easily replaced (probably within a few weeks).  But Erica and Kayla can’t replace their father.  Kolton and Caden have stolen my heart and words will never express how much I want to see those little guys grow and become men of God.  I don’t want to leave Lisa alone to spoil my family, I want to be her husband as long as I can. I love the people I work with, coach, mentor, and do life with --- I enjoy life too much to not do a better job of taking care of my health.
Self-care actually blesses others.