Funk

I told someone recently that I have been in a funk for about a month.  I looked up the word funk and have to correct myself.  I’ve not been in a funk.  I’m wrong.  I have misused the word, I hope.  A funk is an awful odor or a type of music.  It can also mean failing because of fear but that is not the dominant definition.  So I stand corrected, I’ve not been in a funk. 

It doesn’t feel like depression.  The ‘to do’ list is long but I am not overwhelmed by it just not enough time to do what I know needs to be done.  Relationships are in tact – I feel like my time with God is not just an hour in the morning but I’m with him through the day – So, what is it?

Perhaps it is a fear.  Fear of inadequacy for the task that lies ahead.  Fear of not finding the right words to encourage a church.  Fear of saying the wrong words to a hurting pastor.  Fear of not being there for a friend who needs a hand.  Fear of watching a family member make a wrong decision. 

I did it – I talked my way through it and my friends, I am in a funk; look it up – failing because of fear and a foul odor (I have yet to shower this morning)

What is a man to do? “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths.”

I’m reminding myself that the world does not operate around me.  I am inadequate for the role that I play out in this divine plan but He is not.  He is all I need.  In my weakness He becomes strong.  In my fear, He can be my confidence. I must decrease so that He can increase.

My thoughts are straight and I’m getting ready for the day.  I’m turning on some music and going to hammer out the ‘to do’ list.  What kind of music?  Did I just hear someone say, “Play that funky music white boy!”