Ministry Boundaries

A few weeks ago my heart was broken.  I had discovered a new young leader and was following his blog.  I had spoken with people on his staff about some of the resources.  I had thought about how I might use him to coach pastors in IL.

He wrote incredible blogs, great thoughts, sharp thinker.  I opened his blog and the title was 'I have sinned and I am resigning as pastor.'

Why is it so difficult to set boundaries?  Please know I am not throwing stones at this brother - but for the grace of God, there go I.  But here are a few ideas that I have built into ministry over the years.

Lisa and I sat down many years ago and discussed boundaries that she would like for me to have as a pastor.
 I don't meet with women alone with my door closed or alone in the building;
 I don't counsel women without my wife;
 She has access to my computer's history;
 We communicate regularly about sexual needs and feelings;
 She has full access to my facebook account;
 We pray for each other so that we are partners in purity.

Lisa knows that regular intimacy with her is important to me.  Many of you know that our lives are spent apart for days at a time because of travel.  Selling a house in this economy, weighing all the options of where we should live, allowing our youngest daughter to figure out where she wants to live - has been the best decision for my family.  Nonetheless, it has had challenges.  The situation has presented us with times of growth and times of challenges for each of us.

Without the boundaries we had established years ago I don't know what these last two years would have been like.  They might have been the same.  But what if?

How are you and your spouse guarding against the attack of the enemy on your marriage?  I implore you, err on the side of caution! Don't get paranoid about it but establish the boundaries that work for you.

Perhaps your spouse will need tight boundaries because of hurts in her life.  Maybe there is a wide circle of trust.  If you want to be a person of purity and integrity allow your spouse to speak into the boundaries.

I read this the other day:  "Never forget that we are in a spiritual battle with real winners and losers. Though we may try to ignore it, we have three very real enemies (the world, the flesh and the devil) who are all more than happy to play their part in helping us flame out of ministry. In my experience, it also seems that the kingdom of darkness is particularly benefited when a pastor goes down because of moral failure because, like a grenade, it does damage on so many levels at once. To help me in my own struggle for purity, I reflect on this painful truth often. I picture what would happen to my wife, children, and church if I chose pride and pleasure over Jesus in a moment of weakness. It drives me to the Scriptures, my wife, and my ministry team to help me stay the course."

For the sake of all of us, please don’t become a statistic. Please pray for me and those those closest to you that we don’t become statistics. Please take the steps necessary to walk in integrity, and let’s cross the finish line strong together for the glory of God and the good of our families, churches, and the world around us.